Chuck E. Cheese Rat VS Telemarketing Guy

April 8th, 2005

It is the day of my recital, and so I'm taking the morning off. But now I have to keep my mind occupied so that I don't think about it too much. And "voila", a new blog entry has been created.

I believe I may have had some of the worst job experiences any college student can have. Some I got fired from, some I quit. Here is the countdown of the top 5 worst jobs I've ever had:

5. Okay, we'll start with a job I enjoyed at first. For three years I was a light/sound technician at my undergrad music school. It was kind of a nice job. I got to listen to concerts for free. I had a good boss who was bitter at the world and the high paying administrative positions that he never got. But after three years of doing the same thing I got bored, and finally decided to quit and go instead to the No. 4 worst job:

4. Officially, my position was, "Medical Records Clerk". Unofficially, my position was, "Doctor's Bitch". If a doctor or nurse lost a file, it was our fault. If there was some kind of paperwork problem, it was our fault. If a doctor made a mistake, it was our responsibility to catch it and correct it. If a doctor wanted some breakfast, "Just tell one of the Medical Records People to do a breakfast burrito run." The Medical clinic social culture is really segregated. The doctors NEVER speak to Medical Records unless they can't find a chart. And then the only sentence they use is, "Get me this chart NOW!". There was no respect. True, they're the ones with the diplomas. If you've ever seen ER, have you ever seen a Medical Records person? I haven't. Why? Because they are considered dirt under the doctor's fingers, not even important enough to write a small supporting character role. Grrrr. The nurses were nice though. It's like they felt pity for us.

3. As a Sophomore in college I was a pretty bad budget manager. So suddenly I found myself in desperate need of money (I ate nothing but Ramen noodles for a month!). So while i was going to school and fulfilling my position as a work-study at the school, I was forced to get a job flipping burgers...at Whataburger...during the graveyard shift. From 11 pm to 5:30 am I'd flip-burger-myself to the farthest point of boredom, and beyond. Then go home, sleep for an hour or two, and if I was lucky catch my 8:30 theory class. Then I'd normally skip Acoustical Physics and go take a shower instead, since I had more classes later. Somehow I managed a "B" in Physics. Considering I only showed up for the exams, that's incredible! But that whole year is still a blur to me. All I remember is walking around like a zombie during the day, and flipping burgers, bored to death at night.

2. As if being a pizza cook for Chuck E. Cheese wasn't bad enough, every Saturday I had to get into the rankiest smelling 40 pound "Rat Suit", and then prance around the store pretending to like children. Those kids were THE DEVIL. Some would grab my butt and then run away laughing. Others would latch unto my leg and say "I love you Chuck E." And I'd end up dragging them everywhere because you couldn't pry them off unless you had a crowbar! And some would taunt, "come on Chuck E. Say something. Come on." Many times I thought about breaking the rule of silence and saying, "I eat children." Every Saturday of the entire summer of '98 I was the rat for 6 hours. And this job is only at No. 2! That's because the No. 1 worst job I've ever had is:

1. [excerpt from Gus' life as a telemarketer]

Gus: "Hi, my name is Gus Camacho calling on behalf of AT&T's long distance service. Now, the reason for my call is to let you know about AT&T's long distance service, PLUS a grrrrrrrrrreat customer bonus. And to show you personally how it can lower your long distance phone bill. Now, which long distance company are you currently with?"
Customer: "You interrupted my dinner. What the $%#@ is wrong with you?"
Gus: "And approximately how much do you spend on your phone bill each month."
Customer: "Go to hell!"
Gus: "And when do you prefer to make your calls? The evenings, weekends perhaps?"
Cusomer: "I hate you"
Gus: "Okay, great!! Based on the information you have just provided for me we have a great plan available for you, it's called the 5 cent Sunday plan, and what this plan does is..."
[Customer hangs up]
[New customer comes on line immediately]
Gus: "Hi, my name is Gus Camacho calling on behalf of AT&T's long distance service, now the reason for my call is..."

That's right I was a hated telemarketer. Why? I needed a summer job and the company was like 2 minutes from my house...walking, and they paid $8/hour. Everyday was sooooo monotonous. The typical day went like this: Call, get cussed out, call, get cussed out, call, get cussed...etc. Until finally you'd run accross an incredibly nice old lady and then confuse her and take advantage and make a sale. I felt horrible everytime that happened, even worse than when people would cuss me out (which happened all the time).

So finally, the day came when I got up, put on my slacks, shirt and tie, and sat on my couch waiting for the time to go to my hellish job. And I thought, "Hmm. I don't think I'll go today." We were allowed three "strikes" before you got fired, so I figured it'd be okay. The next day the same thing happened...I got dressed and after sitting on the couch dreading my time to go to work, I decided to not go again. Finally, the third day, I got dressed, sat on the couch, and finally decided never to go back to that hell-hole ever again. I actually never got a notice saying that I was fired. For all I know, they still have me on their database.

If you think you've had a worst job than me, post it as a comment. I will sympathize.