Thought of the Week No. 1

June 29th, 2005

Due to my limited amount of internet access in the next few months, my entries will now consist of a series of "thought of the week" one liners. Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, Indroducing THOUGHT OF THE WEEK NO. 1:

No. 1: Mosquitos love Mexican Food.

The Ultimate Road Trip Begins...

June 13th, 2005

I know, I know. I was supposed to leave earlier this morning, but due to circumstances beyond my control (okay, fine, it was nobody's fault but mine...everybody happy?) I had to stay up kind of late last night. So now I'm looking at a 2,000 mile course to tackle in 48 hours. Obviously, I'll have a driving buddy so that we can switch every 400 miles or so. But as all long trips go, this one has the potential to get reallllly tiring, unless I take stuff to do. So, without further ado, here are my top 5 favorite things to do on a long road trip:

1) Listen to music, of course. Preferably not from the radio, because when you're out in the middle of nowhere sometimes the only station you get is the Tejano station...you know which one I mean...the one with the tuba going "Pom...pom-pom-pom...pom-pom-pom...pom-pom-pom". Thankfully the car I'm going in has a CD player, so I have my collection of...mmm...20 CD's which I'm taking with me.

2) Sleep. On a long trip like this, the best thing to do when not driving is to prepare for your next turn driving, which means you have to rest and catch some winks...maybe dream of swimming in huge teacups filled with all kinds of different teas (right, Erynn?). Let your imagination run wild!!

3) Play the "Who am I?" game with your driving buddy. Pick a famous person...or I guess it could be anything (the rules are flexible if you're like me and make up everything)...and then the other person has 20 chances to ask you "yes/no" questions.

4) Play the...well, I don't know what it's called. You pick a letter of the alphabet and then take turns naming every word you can think of that starts with that letter. And if you get stuck, just make up a word and then say, "check the dictionary if you don't believe me". Chances are, there won't be a dictionary in the car, so nothing can be proven. The trick is to act outraged that someone would accuse you of cheating.

5) Stare into space.

Okay, I'm off in a few minutes. Remember kids...be cool, stay in school!

Friends, Countrymen, Bloggers, Lend me your ears!!

June 11th, 2005

In my line of work (or future work), it is inevitable for me to occasionally come into contact with a secret society, whose name I will reveal at the end of this post. These guys are surrounded by a mystery so well-guarded, it almost makes you think they use some sort of black magic. In many occasions...and by "many" I mean twice...I have tried to gain membership into this esteemed secret society. But alas, any type of inquiry into the matter only brings scowls, mis-information, and hostility.

I experienced this at my own house, with the visit of a secret society member. He was very polite and very friendly the entire visit...until I asked him how I could learn their secret skill. Immediately his attitude changed from outgoing friendliness to unconceiled anger. He said, in harsher words, that there were only two ways: 1) Attend their secret society academy in NY..."the only one in the world", he said, and 2) be taken in as an apprentice by a seasoned member of the society (Does this remind anyone of Star Wars?). Then he went on to tell me that it would take even the most talented apprentice many many years to even learn the basics of the art. Most students don't even get through the program, and that I shouldn't even waste my time.

Well, screw that! Nobody tells me what I can or can't do! Only miserable failure tells me that. So I took matters into my own hand, and began doing the research (google). After much searching and reading, I found all the necessary information. All that was left was to put my plan into action. I bought the tools necessary from an underground source (who shall remain anonymous), and began practicing my new skill. Although telling you this information may result in hostility towards me, I shall risk my life and divulge exactly what you need for this skill. Here are the tools necessary:

1) A tuning hammer
2) A few tuning wedges
3) A chromatic tuner
4) A long cloth (not pictured)
5) A good ear - preferably with a person attached (not pictured)


The Secret Tools

So okay, you may have figured out by now which secret society I'm talking about. No, not the Priory of Sion. This society is even more secretly guarded than that. I'm talking about the secret world of...piano tuners...shhhhhhhhhhh!

I can't say that I've mastered the art yet. Once you get to a certain point it becomes easy. But the hard thing is tuning the first two octaves (you should start with the middle of the piano), because you have to tune it according to the tempered scale. Which means, every interval has to be tuned slightly out of tune...perfectly out of tune (if you want to know my method of doing this, just ask me...it's too long and boring to put it on here). Once you have that, then the going is easy, because you can just tune the octaves of the piano, up and down, up and down.

The pianos I've tuned so far have been acceptable, not great. But it's definitely not as difficult as those guys made it out to be. Of course, I know they're just protecting their job security. Due to the lack of piano tuners in this world, they've been living the life of luxury because they charge like demons for one visit. Obviously, the more piano tuners there are, the more competitive their prices have to be. They don't want that life to end. But still, refusing to divulge any information on the subject seems greedy and selfish and downright mean.

Therefore, piano tuners beware! I have put on my armor, raised my sword, and am ready to charge forward and fight this war, with no thought to consequences!

Gaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E

June 6th, 2005

My favorite TV commercial is the one that shows up on ESPN. They're advertising this year's Spelling Bee, and the commercial consists of a bunch of different shots of kids spelling out words. But each kid only says one letter, starting with "P", and then the screen switches to another kid, who says, "...R...". It's not until the end of the commercial that you realize what they just spelled, "P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E". Haha, oh man! that made me laugh!

I'm sure most of my friends would be surprised if I told them that once opon a time I competed in the Spelling Bee. That was in 5th grade...my third year living here in the US. My brother and I always liked to do things together, and when he told me his teacher picked him to enter the Spelling Bee, I of course wanted to do the same. The problem was that my teacher only invited those students who were good at spelling (well, duh!), and I was not a good speller. So during class while the teacher was calling out names in class and asking them if they would like to enter the Spelling Bee, she completely skipped my name. Not to be outdone, I raised my hand and said with a tone of defiance, "I would like to enter the Spelling Bee". I still remember the expression on her face when I said that...I laugh out loud when I think of it. She just didn't know what to say! Here was a punk kid who was only mediocre (at best) at spelling, and was demanding to be allowed to enter the Spelling Bee. Unheard of!!!!! So she finally stammered, "Oh. Umm...uh....O-okay."

So the day of the Spelling Bee came. I lost in the third round with the word "Ballerina". Yes, "Ballerina". But in my defense, it was only my third year speaking English. And I spelled it, "B-A-I-...." because that's how you spell it in Spanish. Oh well, excuses excuses. My brother on the other hand, WON the entire thing and got a trophy and everything!!! He went on to the City Spelling Bee and made a good showing (even spelled Zucchini right!). He graduated from Rice University and just this past year got a job with Microsoft, in Seattle. My brother is wicked smart!!! But I still dominate him in Backgammon...bwahahaha!

While watching this year's Spelling Bee on TV, I was amazed at the words these kids were spelling. EXSICCOSIS, ORNITHORHYNCHOUS, SPHYGMOMANOMETER. When one of the kids (who tied for 2nd) was given the word, "ONYCHOPHAGY", he asked the judge, "Is that the medical term for when nails are bitten enough to become deformed?" And it was!

But my moment of glory came when the final word was given to the kid that won. It was APPOGGIATURA. Ha! Appoggiatura! Every music student knows that word, because they pound it in our heads during our Freshman and Sophomore theory classes. So I may not have even been able to pronounce any of the other words, but I KNEW THE WINNING WORD!!!

I am the smartest man alive!!!!

Dream Log #1: The "Excellent Adventure" Dream

June 3rd, 2005


Begin Dream Log #1

I'm riding in the middle row of a van, apparently with a bunch of people my age. One of the guys behind me is called Ted. How do I know this? Everybody is talking to him and saying, "Ted, hey Ted", "Yo, Ted", "Ted, man", "Ted". So there's no mistaking it, this guy's name is Ted.

When I turn around and see his face, I am suddenly 100% sure that I've seen him before. But where? Where do I know this guy from? It's pretty obvious he doesn't remember me, so I say, "So....Ted." Everybody goes quiet and listens intently to my next words. I'm trying to think of a way to tactfully ask him if I know him from somewhere. I say, "uh....so ah....Ted, what's your last name?"

Ted seems to be confused by the question. He scratches his chin and he cocks his head to the side. Then he says, "Well, I'll tell ya. That's kind of a complicated question." Then his face brightens up and he says, "But yes. I am that Ted from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure."

Except it wasn't Ted, it was Bill!! I recognized him immediately from the movie. It all fit: surfer dude accent, curly blonde mop on his head, idiot expression on his face....

And that's all I remember. Or maybe the dream ended there. Dreams are funny that way. If you don't write it down just after you wake up, you forget basically everything. Since I have weird dreams basically every night, I've made it a habit to repeat the dream in my head as soon as I wake up, that way at least a few details will remain in my mind.

End Dream Log #1