What happens when you yell "FIRE" in a room full of musicians?

March 30th, 2005

So last night I had an interesting quintet rehearsal. We had a late-night practice because we had to play for a professor today, and we really didn't have much prepared. 20 minutes into the rehearsal, the school's fire alarm went off! There were strobe lights flashing, high pitched beeping...it was like a dance club in there! But we really had to rehearse. Who cares if we were in danger of being engulfed in flames, we had to learn the music!

So we ended up taking all our things and attempted to rehearse outside, amidst the cops and the firefighters running around, as well as all those sickos waiting to see some gore. I was reminded of a scene in the movie "Titanic" (not my favorite movie, but I did enjoy the fake immigrant accents). Anyway, in this scene, the ship is sinking and everybody is running around and everything is in chaos EXCEPT for the suicidal string quartet musicians who decide to play while the ship sinks. It was really kind of eerie having classical music playing while all this chaos was going on. It felt kind of like a dream. And as an aside, we kicked butt at our coaching today.

So the question you should ask after reading this entry is: If you yell "FIRE" in a room full of musicians who don't listen to you, are you still making a sound?

TANGO and the creepy Yosemite Sam look-alike

March 27th, 2005

So a few days ago Lauren and I went to our VERY FIRST TANGO LESSON! Oh man, it was fun...but I have to say: it's freaking hard! Knowing how to swing dance did not help me at all. I was stumbling all over the place, and since Lauren took 10 years of ballet she picked it up waaaaaay faster than me. But I think maybe at the end we started looking less bad. At least that's what people said...but that may have been just pity praise.

But there were a bunch of weirdos there. So during the 45 minute lesson, I was of course partnering with Lauren, since we went together. But then the instructor told us to "switch partners". I got this nice older lady who was even worse than me...so that made me feel good. But poor Lauren looked at me with "tortured" eyes when she got stuck with the BIGGEST WEIRDO I've even seen! Allow me to describe him for you:

With a bit of a hump, this guy was dressed all in black, and fashioning what could only be described as a feminine "Zorro" hat. He had on cowboy boots and cowboy half-pants. All his facial hair, including eyebrows beard and mustache, was red. His mustache, if you can believe it, appeared to be "gel-ed" and pointed upwards. Hence the well deserving title of "Yosemite Sam Look-alike". He didn't smile often, but when he did his mouth revealed several gold teeth. He took it upon himself to single handedly try to turn Lauren and I into expert Tango dancers by the end of the night. He failed miserably, to put it mildly. But everytime he was explaining a move to me, he would pronounce the Spanish name with a "gringo" accent. When I would repeat it back to him in a "Mexican" accent, he would blink a few times, give me a confused look, and say the word again with the "gringo" accent. After a while I gave up and just imitated him. He seemed to think this was progress.

I'm pretty sure he was only teaching us moves so that he could get a dance with Lauren. She was a big hit at the place. There were several girls sitting down on tables, waiting for a guy to ask them to dance. Since Tango is a seriously macho-istic dance, a girl can't dance unless a guy asks her (it's pretty sad). But I think they were all getting frustrated because all the guys were ignoring them and just asking Lauren to dance. As soon as Lauren and I took a break, all the guys turned into vultures and pounced on her. And she's too nice to reject them, so her feet were really sore at the end of the night.

But all in all it was an awesome time. But it's kind of a rigid dance, so in that way it's not as fun as swing dancing. We're going back again soon. This time I'll try to limit my stepping-on-Lauren to below 20 times. She might appreciate that.

Finally, the decision has been made...

March 22nd, 2005

Thanks for all who voted! I didn't think so many people actually read my blog. For a while there I thought I was just talking to myself. Talking to myself can get kind of boring, because I already know what I'm going to say.

Anyway, this entry is about the decision I made just about 30 minutes ago...about where I'm going next year. I was completely split between Phoenix and Austin, and finally gave up and left it to my poll just below here. So if "Phoenix" and "Austin" were the names of two racehorses, this is how the sports announcer would have called the race:

"And they're off! Phoenix takes a COMMANDING lead! What's wrong with Austin, it seems to just be walking out of the box. Phoenix surges ahead with 5 votes, and Austin at the moment only has one pity vote. It doesn't look good for Austin. But wait a minute! Phoenix seems to have gone off the path and has now fallen asleep on the grass. Austin is suddenly building up momentum and is quickly catching up! Wow look at Austin go! Now Austin is in the lead, 6 - 5! Phoenix has just realized that Austin has passed him, and suddenly bolts to its feet and dashes after Austin. But it doesn't seem to be helping. Austin has really picked up momentum, and it looks like nothing will be able catch up to it now. But wait, the votes for Austin are slowing, and now Phoenix is dead even with Austin! Who would have expected. Wow, what a race...it's lived up to the hype and more! As we near the home stretch, it's anybody's game. Just one extra vote will win the race by a nose. And here they come, what a finish! And it seems like...could it be?...YES! Phoenix wins the race after a huge burst of votes in the final few seconds of the race! Final score, 11 - 10 to Phoenix! This will certainly go down in history as one of the closest and most exciting races of the millenium. Back to you Bob."

So yes, I'm going to Phoenix. And to those of you wanting me to go to Austin, let me explain. ASU offered me the following: basically full tuition + $6,000 TA (teaching assistant) position + $3,000 cash award. Holy cow! Is there anybody stupid enough not to accept an offer like that? Well, actually I'm stupid enough, but thankfully I had a good buddy with good advice on this one. Thanks Andy. Austin would have been pretty cool too, and they offered me a good deal also (but not as good), but I had to choose the better of two good things. I hope all you Austin Hopefuls understand.

And to all the Phoenix Supporters...I have one word for you guys: GERONIMO!!!

YOU can help decide my future!

March 14th, 2005

This is the deal. I'm about to get my Master's from ASU, and they've offered me a TA position if I stay next year for my Doctorate. UT Austin, on the other hand, is offering me full tuition to go over there next year. What should I do?

Okay, I give up. I can't make the decision myself. I now leave it to the masses. Where does my future lie?
	Phoenix, Arizona State University
	Austin, University of Texas at Austin
Free polls from Pollhost.com

It's Madness I tell you, Madness!!

March 13th, 2005

Okay, let's review my symptoms: constant checking of scores on espn.com, yelling obscenities at the TV followed immediately by cries of joy, wadding up napkins and fade-away-hook-shooting them into the wastebasket while saying "3 seconds left...he shoots...he scores!", an unhealthy obsession with the science of "bracketology"...I believe I may be afflicted with the illness commonly known as "March Madness".

I filled out a bracket at espn.com, and just like very other year, I believe that it is the winning bracket. Nevermind that last year I ended up ranked 643,000th. One of the groups I play in (Salt River Brass - http://www.saltriverbrass.com) started an office pool, so I entered my "infallible" bracket and paid my $2. There's over 50 people who entered, so after I win I'll get over $100.

Okay, so my brackets usually end up being a joke. I have two personality traits that cause my brackets to bust before even the 2nd round. 1) I cheer for underdogs. I think we all do. Everybody likes to see the unknown team filled with nobodies, with no endorsements, with no hype...beat the Goliath team who is supposed to win it all. We love Cinderella stories...they make us believe (at least for a few moments) that real life can sometimes feel like a movie. 2) I tend to be loyal to schools from my hometown, no matter how bad they are. One good example is UTEP. They never get past the first round, and I know they won't this year either...yet I still picked them to win two games and reach the Sweet 16. Why? Because if they actually DO win some games, I want to make sure that I share part of the glory. Hey, it could happen.

I won't share my bracket secrets with you here, because I don't want my picks stolen. But what are you waiting for! Fill out a bracket for a chance to win $10,000! (http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/bracket/entry). If you don't normally follow NCAA basketball, this is a perfect way to make the games more interesting. You'll find that you'll really get into a game when there's money on the line.

To the batmobile!!

How to write a bestselling novel

March 9th, 2005

I just finished reading two novels by Dan Brown: 1) The DaVinci Code, and its prequel 2) Angels & Demons. And this is what I learned from these books:

This is how to write a best selling novel:
Step 1: create a main character that is a cross between Bruce Willis in Die Hard, and Doogie Howser. And don't tell me you don't know who Doogie Howser is...I'm not that old (if you seriously don't know... *cough*Watch More TV*cough* just google him).
Step 2: create a damsel in distress. She has to be smarter, braver and more skilled than the main character, but then when the moment of truth comes she has to revert back to female stereotypes and cry out, "Oh Robert save me! I'm suddenly out of character and can't seem to distinguish between a bottle and a monkey. Save me!"
Step 3: Create a mind-boggling crime that only the main character has the info to solve. But here's the catch...he has to not want to solve the case. He never goes looking for adventure...adventure comes looking for him.
Step 4: Create a bad guy who kills a bunch of people for no apparent reason. The word "motive" does not apply here.
Step 5: Every so often put in a paragraph filled with technical jargon, whether it makes sense or not. Nobody will understand it, therefore they'll think you're smarter than them. Maybe they'll even think you're a genius!
Step 6: The world revolves around Rome.
Step 7: At the end of each chapter, this should be your last sentence: "And then the most shocking thing happened". Then reveal the "most shocking thing" (which really doesn't have to be all that shocking) in the last page of the book.
Step 8: Find the character that has absolutely no ties with the problem and who has barely even said one word during the entire story...and make him the criminal mastermind. It's all about making the reader feel stupid.
Step 9: Guy and girl realize they are soulmates and live happily ever after...for about two weeks. The sequel must have a new girl.

So that's it. What are you waiting for? START WRITING! Okay, so if you use this formula you'll get a book so full of cliches , so unpredictable that it becomes predictable, so completely cheesey... But hey, it worked for Dan Brown.

This has been a production of THE WEBLOG AT THE END OF THE INTERNET!!

One Less Thing to Worry About...

March 7th, 2005

I got this letter in the mail today:



Dear Gustavo,

I am pleased to tell you that The University of Texas School of Music has recommended to the Graduate and International Admissions Center that you be admitted in the DMA degree in French Horn Performance for Fall 2005. Your admission is indicative of your superior level of accomplishment and your potential for professional growth in our discipline. My colleagues and I extend our warmest congratulations, and we look forward to your joining us here in Austin next fall.

I am sure you know that admission to our program is highly competitive. Qualified applicants must be turned away each year because of our limited number of spaces. Congratulations again on your achievement. I look forward to welcoming you to The University of Texas School of Music in August.



So....WOOHOO!!

No Wonder the Lakers Suck!

March 6th, 2005

Here's what I have to say about LA. LA SUCKS!! That city is ghetto, and dirty, and public transportation makes sure that you leave LA with less hair than you came with (because you pull it out in frustration...wasn't sure everybody got that). It took me THREE HOURS to get from the airport to the audition site, and that was on a supposedly "express" bus. The only thing express about it was the "expresso" the bus driver calmly drank while driving 15 miles per hour in a 35 mph zone. ARGH!!!!

My audition was at 10:10 am. I arrived in the building at 10:02 am, sweaty and out of breath because the bus dropped me off 3/4 of a mile away (it was the closest it got). Didn't have time to do a good warmup, so I just played a few notes, then zoomed up to the audition room. I got there just as they were calling my name.

Then I kicked butt. Hopefully it was good enough to at least get on the sublist. The orchestra I auditioned for was the New World Symphony (check them out at http://www.nws.org), which would be such a cool gig to have for next year. As for my never-ending quest to reach a decision on where to go next year, I'm still equally divided between Phoenix and Austin. Depends what each school offers me. Hell, I just want money.

The phrase "money can't buy happiness" should be followed by the phrase "just kidding". I have more to say about other stuff, but I was told each blog entry is supposed to be about one subject. Actually, this entry technically has two subjects, although they're related. Oh yeah, I'm such a rebel...sticking it to the man! Err....So join me next time, only at the WEBLOG AT THE END OF THE INTERNET!!

BlackJack sucks, Poker is okay, Slots rule!

March 3rd, 2005

Okay, so I have three kinds of news to post about the recent and infamous Reno, Nevada expedition: Good, Bad, and Regular. Which would you like first?

Okay, here's the Regular News: I broke even at Poker. After three days of screwing my face up in intense concentration, after three days of staying up all night, after three days of hoping for that perfect hand...I only managed to break even on Poker. I guess you'd call that a success, if it wasn't for the bad news:

Bad News: I lost $40 at BlackJack. I know more about BlackJack than any other gambling game. I've read books, memorized strategies, weighed the odds...but nothing helps. The BlackJack gods hate me. I must have insulted BlackJack's cousin or something...Roulette?

GOOD NEWS: "Slots are boring" - or so I used to think. Until I won $225 this weekend. Suddenly, the slots have become the coolest game for me. It took only two quarters, one from Joe (the percussionist), and one of mine to get that sound that everybody hopes to hear (ding ding ding ding ...). Since it was my quarter, and Joe spun, we split the winnings down the middle: $112.50 each. Considering I was expecting to lose at least $60 during this trip, I think I came out pretty good. The hero has conquered Reno! Next up, Las Vegas!!!!

The rest of the trip was fun, too (except the bus ride...my right butt cheek still aches...seriously, it does). Besides drinking and gambling, I had a good time racing in the pool with Lauren and Britanie, and also playing water football with the brass/ww's. The arcade room had a pinball machine that was broken and let you play as long as you wanted. That turned out to be more addicting than actually gambling. The concert was okay, but our conductor sucks. Really sucks! I'd write more about this, but I'm not sure I'm allowed to swear on this blog.
Didn't really want to come back and get back to reality and responsibility and everything, but I guess all good things come to an end. Check back for another update soon, only at the WEBLOG AT THE END OF THE INTERNET!!